Self-Expression

Everyone should have the right to express themselves the way they want to. In this post, I will explore the many ways in which you can and the different purposes it serves to do so.

Defining self-expression

As always, let’s consult a dictionary first. According to Collins, “When you express an idea or feeling, or express yourself, you show what you think or feel.” Merriam-Webster has a string of definitions for expression:

a: to represent in words : state
b: to make known the opinions or feelings of
c: to give expression to the artistic or creative impulses or abilities of
d: to give or convey a true impression of : show, reflect
e: to represent by a sign or symbol : symbolize
f: to delineate, depict

I think a common denominator in these is: taking what is inside and bringing it outside. The prefix ex actually means ‘out’ or ‘forth’ in Latin, so that makes sense. Tying that to the self, it is the many ways in which we make known what we feel and/or think. And in line with my philosophy of (self-)love, I see this process as something active and intentional. In Dutch, ‘expres’ means on purpose, preconceived. Self-expression in regards to self-love, then, has something purposeful to it. You could argue that punching a hole in a wall when you’re angry is also self-expression, but that’s not really what I’m going for here. I see self-expression as something fun, helpful and sometimes even therapeutic. So, self-expression could be defined as: ‘the many ways in which one conveys or represents what’s happening on the inside with a helpful purpose’.

Many forms

Let’s make it practical, shall we? There’s countless ways to express yourself: theatre, poetry, drawing, fashion, flower arranging, dancing, cooking, gardening. I want to focus a little less on plain verbal self-expression in this post, that is: talking about what you think or feel. I’m a big fan of speaking your mind, but I want to give some attention to the less obvious and the more creative ways of expressing yourself.

Creative ways

Let’s talk about creative self-expression. This is slightly different than a practicing a hobby. It could be the same activity, but done with a different intention. If you indulge in a hobby, it could be because you simply enjoy it or want to get better at it. But when you approach the same activity with the intention of self-expression, it is not about being good at it. It is about letting something out. You all know by now that I love to dance. And oftentimes, I practice this skill because I want to improve. But just as often, I move intuitively to music because I have feelings that need to get out of my body. And you can do this with any creative activity; painting, making music, pottery, crocheting. It doesn’t always have to amount to something beautiful or useful. In a world that wants you to be perfect and monetize everything that is enjoyable, self-expression for the sake of self-expression is an act of rebellion.

Purposes

As I mentioned in my definition, I see self-expression as something purposeful. And there are many purposes it can serve. I thought of these, but feel free to add to this list:

• Identity: our sense of identity can be quite fragile. Who we are or who we think we are is, eventually, a construct. It is something we have to remind ourselves of. Self-expression can not only help in reminding us, but also show that identity is something fluid. Today I might express myself differently than yesterday or tomorrow, and that’s beautiful.
• Community: wearing a piece of jewelry that references your favorite movie could spark up a fun conversation with a fellow fan. Dying your hair pink could deter the kind of people you wouldn’t want to hang out with anyway. By expressing yourself, you’re attracting the people you want to surround yourself with.
• Authenticity: self-expression is showing up as yourself, honoring who you are. It’s being authentic. It is the antithesis of editing yourself, shrinking yourself and hiding yourself. It connects us to ourselves.
• Non-conformity: consciously or not, we constantly get told who to be, how to act and what we should do with our lives. This can really stifle or completely shut down our individuality, and we can lose our sense of self and purpose in the world. Finding our own ways of expression is our way of fighting back, of defying the norm.
• Catharsis: when you express yourself freely, you can experience a sense of release and relief. This cathartic process of unburdening yourself of pent-up emotions or thoughts can significantly improve your mental state, both short and long term.

Personal example

I love expressing myself through my clothes and sense of style. I like putting time and effort into figuring what looks and feels good on me and have managed to build quite a wardrobe. But even though I enjoy putting together an outfit, it often feels difficult to go outside, because my style tends to attract a lot of (male) attention, which I’m usually not happy about. So, when I leave my house in a beautiful dress that accentuates my figure, I often feel conflicted. On the one hand, I feel like myself, on the other: I know I will get some looks that I don’t like. But I keep doing it, because I refuse to alter myself in order to stand out less. And often enough, I’m happily reminded I made the right choice when someone compliments my blue mascara, or when someone calls me a ‘forest nymph’ when I’m wearing all green. In those moments, I feel seen and appreciated for an expressive choice that I made.

Exercise of the day

Ask yourself: what are some ways in which I express myself easily? Which forms do I find harder? Can you experiment and try out different forms? If, for example, you find expressing yourself through words easy, can you challenge yourself to try to make yourself known in non-verbal ways, such as movement or making music? If that is too big of a step, you could try singing or writing instead of talking. Most importantly: let out whatever needs to come out and don’t put pressure on doing/making something super polished!