Just for the fun of it, I decided to write an appreciation/roast post. How’d you like my pun? 😀 Because I thought it was hilarious. Anyways, this post is not meant to insult or, alternatively, to glorify. Its sole purpose is reflection. As miss Grande so wisely said: “Thank you, next.”
Appreciation
Ex #1
- Thank you for writing me love letters.
- Thank you for making an effort.
- Thank you for making me feel sexy.
- Thank you for dancing with me.
- Thank you for dreaming with me about our future.
- Thank you for having the best taste in music.
- Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.
- Thank you for helping me break up with you.
Ex #2
- Thank you for making me feel beautiful.
- Thank you for leaning on me.
- Thank you for always stopping the fight when I started crying.
- Thank you for teaching me the art of puns.
- Thank you for the support.
- Thank you for trusting me.
- Thank you for all the orgasms.
- Thank you for being patient with me.
- Thank you for understanding my sensitivity.
- Thank you for all the compliments.
- Thank you for your calming presence.
- Thank you for helping me break up with you.
Roast
Ex #1
- Fuck you for jumping into another relationship after us in 4 months. Good luck with processing all of your past relationships in your sixties.
- Remember you used to call yourself ‘a realist’ but always assumed the worst things about me?
- That time you wrote down all the things you didn’t like about me and told me they had to change… Seriously? How did I not break up with you right then?
- Fuck you for being the most selfish person EVER in bed.
- Fuck you for seeing yourself as ‘the more rational person’, when you were just as (if not more) sensitive as I am.
- Fuck you for growing accustomed to my crying.
Ex #2
- You were always up for anything. As long as it didn’t involve physical activity, talking to each other, cooking, seeing my friends, doing something creative.
- I loved that concept you mentioned about continuously falling in and out of love in marriage. Shame you didn’t understand that that requires putting in work.
- I feel sorry for the way you can’t open up to anyone, but it’s your responsibility to work on that and not just accept it as a fact.
- Sure I’ll miss the summers on your parents’ boat, but my parents’ unconditional love and support and trust I’ll figure out my own life is so much more valuable.
- Fuck you for jumping into a relationship when you weren’t ready and still had a lot of work to do on yourself.
That was fun, wasn’t it? It was really interesting to try to summarise my relationships in this way. I have learned a lot, and I’m grateful for that. It can be easy to paint someone as solely bad or totally perfect, when in reality, people are complicated and flawed. When you find yourself reflecting on previous relationships and you’re able to see the good in someone as well as the bad, I’d say you have moved on.
“I guess I just need to find someone who gives me what I get in both of them.” – Gossip Girl (S4E4)
Tea Time With Amber 